Re: ARACHNOPHOBIA and STUFF

Robert Allen (Robert.Allen@Eng.Sun.COM)
Thu, 29 Jul 1993 08:47:31 +0800

Gordon, thanks for posting that. You being in pest control
reminds me of an experience my girlfriend recently had. You
may find it amusing. Gretchen has been playing bagpipes since
she was 9 years old, and she's recognised in her field as being
pretty good. Recently she was ill and couldn't play them for
a while, so they sat in their playwood case. When she took them
out she found they were inhabited by miniscule, pale white,
crawling bugs. They were about 1/2 the size of a rice grain.
Here first terrifying thought was, "termites!". After she calmed
down however I suggest that she call our local county agriculture
board. Thus began her odyssey to ID the bugs. Before it was over
she'd mailed some bugs in a film can to the UC Berkeley entomological
department. They made positive the tentative ID from the county
Ag. people: psocids. Gretchen was greatly relieved that they
weren't termites, but she still had to have them fumigated (she
felt). She called around looking for a place with a chamber,
and finally found a place called, get this, Discount Fumigators.
They offered to gas her pipes the next time they did a load of
furniture. They used some type of gas which is very potent, but
decomposes when exposed to oxygen, so they said it would be perfect
for musical instruments. While Gretchen was trying to explain her
problem to each person she came in contact with, she first had to
get them to believe her, and second had to wait for them to stop
laughing. She finally visited Discount Fumigators to drop off
the wood parts of the pipes. The woman there (the description
of whom reminds me very strongly of the secretary in Ghostbusters)
had her office liberally decorated with "trophies". A dead,
fumigated, bat lay on top of the nameplate on her desk, wings
outstretched. A book on the shelf had been completely hollowed
out by psocids or termites. Samples of dead bugs of all varieties
were neatly lined up in sample bottles, suspened in preservative,
atop her computer monitor. And she had the industry big book of
bugs, which she seemingly revelled in perusing.

Robert